HIMYM taught us that finding love is hard and that Ted Mosby is no Romeo (or Einstein) when juggling dates. In anticipation of Ted’s epic ending, we ranked Ted Mosby’s ex-girlfriends from crazy to perfect. I hope Mom isn’t jealous. Ted Mosby has dated great and not-so-great girls. Some, like Robin or Tracy, left deep impressions on him, but others were erratic and noncommittal.
So this girl was the worst. Stalker, pyromaniac, criminal… Maybe she would’ve worked for How I Met Your Felon, but no-can-do’s-Ville for this show.
And you thought Ted had baggage. Well, he does — Royce’s was just worse. She’s been left at the altar three times, shares a bed with her brother, and has a gambling addiction. Hmm, no, thank you.
And here’s a strange interlude in Ted’s search for a (regular) girlfriend. Becky was so childish that she would have Ted tie her shoelaces on dates. Robin gets points for hating Becky from the start.
We love Laura Prepon, but we’d like to erase Karen from memory. Luckily, Ted’s friends saved him from himself, and we were rid of her in just a couple of episodes.
We’re romantics — we like to think two people can and should fall in love online, especially while playing World of Warcraft. Unfortunately, Blah Blah (Ted forgot her name) became jealous and crazy in real life.
Here’s a low for Ted: After realizing he had nothing in common with Vicky, Ted tried to pull the “naked man” — a semi-successful move to get someone to sleep with you by surprising them with your nakedness. Huh. Vicky was excellent with it.
Poor Cathy’s only crime was never coming up for air (or other people’s comments) when sharing one story after another story after another story… She later found happiness with a deaf man.
Ugh. Zoey. The temporary Mother “red herring” of Season 6, Zoey, did have a lot of things in common with Ted. She also was married and sort of (read: extremely) annoying. Thumbs down.
Love cannot be built on a mutual love of Star Wars — especially if one party (Carly) has only seen the “new ones.” Get out of here, Carly. There’s no room for fake Star Wars fans in this show.
All we need to remember about Strawberry is that she threw paint at a friendly chef during dinner, screaming, “MEAT IS MURDER.” We’re down with vegetarians, but this is too extreme in our books.
The HIMYM gang is a cool one but not an easy one to infiltrate. Ted brought Amanda over for Lily’s birthday party, but Lily freaked out, predicting (correctly) that Ted wouldn’t even remember Amanda’s name in a year. (“Bertha?”)
Sometimes things don’t work out — and it’s no one’s fault. It was, however, Ted’s fault for trying to break up with Natalie on her birthday. Krav Maga evened the score, though.
Who knows if Stacey would’ve been suitable for Ted? Barney’s unconfirmed one-night stand with her ruined our relationship with Ted.
Despite the mildly distracting casting, their relationship and breakup were pretty honest. They both wanted it to work, but the chemistry wasn’t there. As if love with a character played by Katie Holmes could ever last…
This one’s a bummer since Stella left Ted for her ex-boyfriend and baby daddy. While it never seemed likely that Stella could be The Mother (hello, Season 3!), she and Ted worked well together. Besides the whole New Jersey vs New York thing. And the hating Star Wars thing. Hmm, maybe she should be ranked lower on this list…
Okay, besides the fact that Cindy and Ted didn’t have as much in common as Ted and the Mother (and Cindy later realized she was a lesbian), we were pretty cool with those short-lived rumours that Cindy might be The Mother. Oh well!
Here’s where things get tricky. We love Robin, but Robin and Ted? That’s a tough one. Ted’s been in love with her forever, but they want different things from life. Also, she’s marrying Barney — so hopefully, this season-long romance is officially over.
Is Team Victoria a thing? Because we’re all about this charming, witty baker. She is funny and intelligent but also an incurable romantic like Ted. Sure, she moved to Germany, but Ted could’ve followed her! They have buildings in Germany that need architecture-ing. What killed their relationship was Ted’s never-ending infatuation with Robin. All the luck to The Mother — someone finally has to break this Robin.